Thursday, August 23, 2007

Manual Not Included

Monday, as I was driving down the express way, I was cut off by a lime-green Volkswagen Beetle. Being cut off on the expressway, or anywhere for that matter, is not a strange occurrence. It is my belief that when drivers purchase a new car they neglect to figure out how to operate their turn signal. I say “neglect” because I can not comprehend why a person wouldn’t realize a turn signal is a necessity while driving. However, perhaps I am only inclined to believe such radical ideas because I was actually required to demonstrate my abilities to operate the turn signal during my driving test. Perhaps turn signals are simply out of fashion. After all, I, as a responsible citizen in a capitalist nation, must move with the times. If turn signals are not chic, I will be forced to rip the turn signal lever from my car in the name of fashion.

Obviously, the driver of the lime-green Bug was, in fact, chic.

I hit my brakes as the driver merged into my lane. Naturally, there was the initial moment of panic. I’ve often wondered if after years and years of driving you simply become blasé about maniac drivers. You begin to take it all with a grain of salt, punching down the brake pedal as you sip a Dairy Queen, peanut butter milkshake. It is a shame that I couldn’t have taken that approach in this case. It would have stopped me from gasping while my eyes bugged out to the size of comets.

After my shock had worn into a dull nervousness, I decided to merge into the right expressway lane (I used a turn signal). Much to my surprise, the driver of the Beetle decided to do the same. Furthermore, the driver failed to use a turn signal—again. Nervousness was quickly building into contempt.

I’m not one for road rage. It seems like a hazardous vent. I’d much rather spill angst into poetic devices and poisoned prose (much like right now). I was quite proud of the personal restraint I demonstrated as I was driving behind the lime-green Beetle driver. Why? Because, if I had been one to throw a high-RPM temper tantrum, I surly would have tracked down said Beetle driver after noticing that he was carelessly jabbering into the mouthpiece of his cell phone.

I doubt I need to explain the logistics of why talking on your cell phone, on the expressway, in rush-hour traffic is not a wise decision.

I decided to pass Mr. Lime-Green Beetle Driver. The icing to this story is that as I was gliding past, I looked over to see a tiny Chihuahua dog sitting on the Beetle driver’s lap. Appropriately, the dog was barking towards me and my car. I suppose dogs really do have a sixth sense. It seems that even they know that not using a turn signal is a dumb idea.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Haha!! I loved this entry...minus the fact that you were so violated! What is a guy doing driving a lime-green beetle anyway?!? Obviously he wasn't all there... ;)

Erina Hart said...

I guess he liked the color.

I'm used to expressway violation. I think all drivers are. I guess the road will forever be a dangerous place.

(Just think of when we all have flying cars!)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I hear you Erina. Careless drivers take the taste out of my peanut butter. In the Edmonton Journal, they have this venting section. No surpise, it's often full of frustrated people saying this like: "To the jogger who didn't look before crossing the street, I curse you! May all your children be hairy children."

Okay, so maybe the EJ doesn't say that, and that's just me muttering as I'm cut off, have to swerve...I think karma eventually catches people, and I try to dispell my annoyance with the whole Lion King "Circle of Life" philosophy--but sometimes, don't you just wish you could be there when they're pulled over by the cops? I do--though I would hope I wouldn't smile smugly at them...too much :P

Erina Hart said...

Hey, Brown. I’m glad to hear Canadian drivers also have roadway difficulties. It is nice to know I’m not alone.

I have spoken to a man from Pakistan, and he stated that travel in his country of origin is nearly impossible. He told me Americans would probably go insane looking for a stop sign (or lack of). I suppose there are traffic hassles everywhere.

I wish the Edmonton Journal did include that quote. I’d have a fit of giggles.

I have seen a horrible driver get pulled over by the cops. It was during one of my high school years. The driver was weaving in and out of traffic, all the while going about fifteen miles over the speed limit. Seeing the car pulled over, with the cruiser lights flashing, was highly satisfying. I recommend a smile if you ever get the chance to witness such a sight ;o)

Suzie said...

"If turn signals are not chic,..." well here in Southwest Florida it is fashionable to drive for miles in the left hand lane at 25 mph with your right turn signal on!

Erina Hart said...

Hey, Suzie! Welcome to Into the Inkpot!

I know exactly what you mean, Suzie. We have the same drivers here in the Greater Cincinnati area. There is no end to the annoyance.

Perhaps mandatory driving tests (free of charge) should be required every five years? It may keep drivers on their toes.

Thank you for coming by. I hope to see you again soon.

Suzie said...

thanks for visiting my site....

I've been cycling about 5 years. The weakend rides I do with the boys often turns into a race though that is not the Trek store's intent. The ride is suppose to be a friendly 50 to 60 mile ride of 20 to 22 mph.

I run about 24 miles, swim 3 or 4 times and cycle 150 miles a week on an average week. I try to squeeze in some weight traing and a round or two of golf each week as well and some tennis maybe.

Erina Hart said...

Suzie, I admire the fact that you are so dedicated to cycling. I don’t think I could ride for fifty to sixty miles. It seems like a great accomplishment.

Now, I do love swimming. It is great to hear that you too enjoy the pool (or ocean for that matter). It is a very soothing way to pass the time.

You play golf? That is interesting. I have never played before.

Rolando said...

Good thing you survived to tell. I get cut off many times. I guess people think cause I drive a truck, that it's too big and slow.

The combination of dumb driver and cell phone is not a good mix.

I'll be looking out for a lime-green bettle.

Erina Hart said...

Yes, Rolando, be extremely wary of lime-green Beetles. They are devious.

Perhaps, people fear your mighty truck. That is why other vehicles scurry away in terror :o)

Thanks for visiting! I hope to see you again!