[Delayed] Feminist Friday: Tardy Slips are Ready
Traditionally, it was a woman’s role to raise a healthy family. Above all other things that a woman was supposed to accomplish, the care of her children was considered to be the most obvious indicator of her worth in society. She should nurture.
Men were supposed to provide a stable income. He should bring home the bread and the eggs. He would be valued according to the size of his bank account, the money in his wallet, and the possessions he acquired. He should provide.
The gender roles in American society were declared, and all people that veered away from this system were deemed abnormal.
Until WWII.
After the Second World War, women entered the workforce. Thus, women were no longer confined to the domestic sphere. They walked out into the public sphere. There, they were reborn.
(Keep in mind that poor Caucasian women and minorities had been working for many generations prior to this.)
Daycares were needed to care for children that were once raised by stay-at-home mothers. The industry boomed. Women needed the support.
Then, there would come times that women would need to attend work or they would wish to visit with friends. Men—the fathers—would stay at home to take care of their children. Taking over all of the responsibilities of the mother, fathers would need to feed, clothe, bathe, and nurture their children. They would become the nurturer while their wife was away.
Some men were fine with this. They enjoyed nurturing their children. They were proud.
However, some men found shame in this role. Some men found that being a nurturer made them feel unmanly and weak. They felt that caring for their children, in the way that a mother cares for her child, made them less powerful.
Therefore, many men declared that they were no more than “babysitting” their children. They would explain to anyone that found them caring for their children that they had to take care of the children because their wife was not present. It was actually their wife’s job. He, the father, was simply filling in.
The father would baby-sit, much like the way a teenager baby-sits your children while you are on a date with your spouse. The father would choose to say he was “babysitting” because the act did not imply that he was actually nurturing.
He did not want to admit to parenting.
Gender roles and norms dictate how we are seen in society. If a person adheres to their sex’s specified gender code they are seen as ideal. However, if the individual decides to adopt roles that are intended for the opposite sex, the individual is seen as unusual. Therefore, individuals often seek to rationalize the act of going against what society has deemed acceptable for their sex. For example, a man is deemed womanly if he nurtures his children. Thus, he adopts the term “babysitting” because the word implies he is not truly fulfilling the traditional feminine gender role of being a nurturer.
How do you view the concept of a man babysitting his children when he is obviously nurturing them? Do you feel that if men use the term “babysitting,” an unequal balance of power between feminine and masculine roles in parenting is created? In 2007, do you feel that a man is still pressured by society to take less responsibility in the basic care of his children (i.e. a father should not bathe and feed his children, but instead he should work in order to obtain the funds needed for the mother to do so)?
I open this debate up to all of Into the Inkpot’s readers, and look forward to all responses.
Feminist Friday needs to be a bit late this weekend. I have a serious problem that I need to deal with. I hope you all understand.
Your friend,
Erina Hart
UPDATE: The problem has been taken care of. I’m back
Thanks for the support.
I have received two new awards! I can’t thank Rolando and Tatiana enough. I always feel a lot of pride when I am granted such blogging honors. These awards make me feel like I am building a community here at Into the Inkpot. I feel a bit more confident that I am providing a safe place for all of you to visit.
I want you all to feel comfortable and safe here. This blog is my home. Every day, I put out tea and danish for all of you to enjoy. I offer you a lounge where you can each express yourselves. I look out for “anonymous” posters that may harass you. You are all friends to me. We may never see one another in person, but I hear your comments and I read your blogs. Every time I visit one of your homes, I am reminded of your unique voices and your great ideas. I’m so proud to have such intelligent, creative, and talented friends. You all have a voice. Remember that. You all have a voice and it is important.
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